I have been in the profession of teaching for over around three decades and I realized the best place to learn is home whereas women are better teachers. People say lesson taught by a Wise woman is seldom forgotten. Thinkers say give us Educated Women, we will raise learnt Nation.
A common sentence that we women have been listening since beginning in every generation is, you stay at home for a longer time- you have no output. e.g. no considerable contribution.
Among the struggle of women for acceptance and survival, assessment on basis of share input in terms of finances has been added in the list of expectation within last two decades.
In poor days, mothers used to emphasise their daughters to work harder so she can manage most of the household stuff as her own, sparing the need of maids. Wise mothers used to emphasize to be flexible in approach as well as in expectations. Learnt Mothers creates the craving of learning in her children, a process that can never take place without working hard and flexibility in approach.
Women raised in happy homes, know how to make home a sweet home and keep the family happy of Cause, Positivity Patience and Persistence, forgiving all while accommodating all are the key factors leading to Happy Family Life. With appearing easier means of earning and increase in corruption, people’s expectation for an Ideal Woman has changed, initially it was a woman who can save more money, later on it became a woman who can bring in more money (Dowry) and now people look for woman who can make more money, reflecting itself that concept of family has been diminishing and home has almost lost its existence as an institutional as well as a uniting entity over the period of time.
To have the best pick Wise mothers in olden days used to teach every single domestic skill to their daughters without having any compromise on their education, however when it comes to comparative investment on Education, mothers always emphasize higher investment on sons in comparison to their daughters that appears to be bias on their part that is not always correct. Many girls who do not have too much inclination towards studies tend to study by using home money keeping in view to get a good husband who can be one of the fellows studying with them or working in the offices, if not, being capable to bring more money, perusing higher education sponsored by their families they can have better proposals with wider options to pick. It is one of the reasons for having more female students registered in Private Institutes at Higher Education Level than Male Students driving the society towards commercialization of Higher Education while compromising on natural process of grooming for individuals.
Wise mothers being more sensible know that, life is not all about making money or getting married with a handsome man belonging to a well-placed family or going abroad etc. They are aware of the fact that life is all about living Happy and Healthy with Loved Ones, being adventurous while perusing passion makes it colourful, above all without having attached with the Institute Home no one neither man nor woman can spend Happy and Healthy Life whereas sustainable success would remain merely an unaccomplished dream and having had it done, to transform a house into home woman is key player to play the KEY ROLE.
Running home smoothly is more difficult than running any office hence mothers no matter how difficult and tight the study schedules are assign responsibilities to their daughters that include conducting different activities e.g. cooking, arranging parties, cleaning, washing, purchasing all their own above all develop the habit of sharing with others in their daughters even to the extend to give up owns share and be self-dependent as well as self-relied. This training really helps in life, especially in this modern ERA, as latest literature indicate that safe and healthy food that is freshly prepared, ensure good health including the Mental Well being. A woman who can not cook, in fact can put on risk the well being of whole family by relying entirely on servants or commercially available products including masala, almost all of them have some amount of harmful compounds. I have heard other saying tum ghar ma hote ho kerte he keya ho, you stay at home what do you do, without realizing keeping home in order well managed with connecting the family members emotionally as well as offering them a person to trust undoubtfully in confidence to share and to care without imposing any opinion and expecting anything considerable from them in return with having cooked tasty and healthy food every day I believe is one of the Greatest Charity Sadqa we Women do to build the institute of Home and keep it intact and functional. The skills to make a home a happy home are not mentioned anywhere in the literature, it is a self learning process that starts right from childhood to take care of younger siblings is the beginning and to participate in domestic activities is a voyage continued throughout life. These days, to fulfill the dreams that Parents themselves could not fulfill, they push their children hard to work to meet their expectation right from their childhood. Most of the Parents make their children study so much that they are left with no spare time for their physical activities socializing, getting grades any lesser than their expectation can make parents pissed off whereas it comes to giving quality time to their children or address their childhood problems, most of parents hardly have a few minutes to spend with them. With having rapid transformation in cultural norms, rules and regulations and individual s expectations, children particularly having such Parents for having lacked the experience of building independent human interactions and relations, awareness on general health issues, domestic skills, many of them can end up making and sustaining relations particularly relationship, no wonder, our police stations, hospitals and mental asylum are overcrowded mainly because the skills facilitating happy living that require input through social interaction initially under supervision later on independently are learnt at home can neither be acquired through any crash course program workshop nor be bought at any amount of money those all are needed to convert house into sweet home but not having them can make one of these e.g. Police Station Hospital and Mental Asylum our destination.
Most of the parents fail to realize the fact while building their expectations upon education and career for their children, how difficult it could be for children to survive to sustain any position no matters it is education or career, both of them require load of hard work involving stress often lead to social isolation and emotional discomfort. There are considerable numbers of parents who never own their kids having any type of shortcoming, hence never invest time to help the child to learn skills helpful to spend healthy life with minimal dependency on others making the life of child more miserable. Such parents are mainly those who spent a deprived youth and got married without their will either out of need or greed hence become obsessed with their dreams and remain unthankful while keep relying on others and blaming them at the same time.
The Human behavior and Living Quality has more to do with the environment, food and companions e.g. fellow beings than the Genetic makeup of individuals, that is very wrongly assumed to be genetically governed and manipulatively had been tried to prove as well, for which marriages among first cousins had been disapproved. I have arrived on the conclusion that ignorance is far safer than ill-learning.
On other hand parents who up bring their children by practicing whatsoever they preach and leave options open to children to decide while sharing their problems with them and expect them to help them sort out as well as to accommodate within the resources available while serving all family members as per their need are those parents who have had a mature exposure usually manage well through their hardship time. In most of the instances, the Credit goes to Woman. Generally woman is more influenced by environment so greed in her usually comes earlier than man but she never leaves to love so if her ability to love is stronger than her greed she can turn a house into home otherwise destination could be Police Station, Hospital or Mental Asylum mainly because woman seeking an escape behind greed when emotional insecurity overhauls can risk everything.
Lets Empower Women to explore her Goodness while be with the people she loves to be with to make Homes, Sweeter Homes.
The writer is associated with the Profession of Teaching and Research with having inclination towards exploring the Features of Nature while enjoying Food with Families and Friends. She is Assistant Professor at Department of Food Science and Technology in University of Karachi, Pakistan.