Food and Family
Mother builds the binding of Love through Food even when a child is in the unborn stage they acquire food through mother s body and later after birth from mother s milk. Food plays a significant role in building emotional binding not only that it also helps to judge individuals.
There is a very popular phrase that people are the best judge during travel, in a matter of money dealings and on having food together.
Most of the people prefer to live in groups even if they are not married and staying away from their family. In literal terms, family refers to a group of people who are inter-related. In reality, it is far more than this, particularly for well-respected families, it is not merely money or social standing that make them earn respect but basically moral driven upbringing that is reflected in every phase of their life whereas creating impact in other s life as well.
The other attributes that can be specific for families though in broader terms popular in the region as well are 3Cs e.g. customs clothes and cuisine. Unlike these days where media introduces trends in cuisine and clothes through marketing, in olden days people used to follow their own family customs, whereas clothes and food used to depend on the availability of financial resources.
Well kept and respected families no matter where they decide to live in the world, ensure that they move with the best of knowledge and skills while carrying on their customs traditions no matter what but they keep connected with origin with having a tendency to be well interconnected. Generally people belonging to well-placed families are self-content, few of them desire to taste the life experiences of common people unlike the common families where most of the members dream to move upto well-placed professions and can make money, a mean to get connected with distinguished people, another means to develop social connection with them is to get married in their families. Prior to get up trends, it’s the Food Cuisine selection that represents the background of the families. Well placed families those carry historical traceability as well as have good credibility nourish with the authentic original regional cuisine at least two times a day along with all the family members. Since these days dynamic of professional life has changed so it becomes difficult to have a meal with family twice a day but at dinner usually, family members eat together. Something very particular that people look for in food is its taste that is specific for each dish very much is dependent on the use of original grounded spices, other ingredients, and process of cooking. Other people usually depend on food whatsoever is available whenever they get more money, it’s the house furniture and clothes on which they spend whereas food is mostly their last priority. It is not just the income range that plays a significant role in determining the community health index but the family background and their regional traceability also matters. Usually, in this region of Sub Continent particularly in Muslim Marriages are arranged within same Sect/ Caste/ Family and preferably within having a similar regional origin. In response of partition of India, families not only lost their financial standing but also their regional connectivity though to a certain extent they manage to maintain their customs that seems to transform with the emergence of Information Technology making whole Globe a Global Village in terms of trend s connectivity.
With the passage of time many people have become open to accepting proposals for their children from families from other regions, caste though there is still a long way to go to be open to accept people originated distant global regions in their families having entirely different approach, something that is need of time to develop openness for acceptability and tolerance to bring a positive change. These days there is a general trend that many girls are passing by their best of marriage, young age, partly family members are not open to welcome life as it is, only accept the proposals that fall within their set criteria that can please all the members that s practically impossible to happen otherwise counsel their daughter to stay single while becoming self-dependent to feed themselves, in certain cases other family members as well. Most of the people find it difficult to build relationship merely because they have never been encouraged to do so on their own; they have never been allowed to have ample time, space and privacy to invest, instead are occupied in activities serving other s needs. Even when ever two individuals are proceeding towards developing relationship, others around them can put efforts to create such a mess mostly by breaching their privacy, involve others to interfere, even do taweez and black magic, give drug in food, not very unusual as almost every type of medicines are easily available over here without doctor s prescription that they end up in splitting. Elders usually set couples to go for a relationship other than this, that naturally selected couple they do not appreciate or in some cases do not approve. This is not the dilemma of present generations I have heard stories of several elders as well. This trend of self-absorb attitude has emotionally shattered our youth whereas on other hand elders fail to acknowledge that they are if not completely but definitely are partly responsible for either not having relationship of their children or for having crisis in their lives. Most of the homes children do not enjoy the same treatment as some are dearer to father others are dearer to the mother, serving their needs are prioritized accordingly whereas rest can be neither emotionally close to mother nor father specially if the number of children are more and there are unplanned births. Other people mostly treat the children as they find their parents treating them throughout their lives; some are born bosses to treat others siblings as slaves. In olden days when families were closely knitted whereas people used to have lesser extent of negativity neglected individuals were not that easily accessible by the criminal factors to use them for achieving their objectives but these days keeping in view thread of terrorism it has become the need of time to set up social organization under the umbrella of state to take care of neglected individuals to avoid being abused by criminal components of the society who otherwise are generally labeled by their fellow beings as individuals having special needs to make it easy for others to exploit them while enjoying the benefits from them with continuous criticism that make such people not to complain about being mistreated on one hand while they keep striving to improve on the other hand to earn acceptability within the given social circle particularly and on the whole generally.
The trend of politics for controlling others that prevail at domestic level can also be viewed in the broader picture on the state level, democracy can never be born out of dictatorship prevailing in most of the homes; what we do outside the homes, we, in fact, learn from inside our homes. It explains the underlying reason of prevailing power and resources driven democracy existing in this part of Globe. One of the reasons for which many individuals go abroad is to be away from the messy social system, an escape from family exploitation and is to build independent social practices having more space for all to survive altogether. The youth of parents who lose connectivity from their cultural of origin usually end up in identification crisis whereas time demands from them to be Global by getting connected to all cultures.
Other than the food the main reason that many children who are being raised abroad are required to visit for counselor s help if not psychiatry support is their limited interaction with the individuals at the place of origin of their parents whereas their parents become more vulnerable by losing the native social and environmental connectivity; they stuck in their individual past whereas in reality the customs and social practices at their place of origin is moved on hence contribute to add up to build personality crisis in their children, giving them a future full of social challenges to meet.
The writer is associated with the Profession of Teaching and Research with having inclination towards exploring the Features of Nature while enjoying Food with Families and Friends. She is Assistant Professor at Department of Food Science and Technology in University of Karachi, Pakistan.