Back to Pavilion


To have a house you need money to have a home one needs soul sense and affection. In our elder’s era, they used to save from their earnings to buy house for them and their children with the provision that they can live closely while being properly secured in well-aerated buildings as they were aware of the fact that health is very much associated with the availability of fresh air. On basis of my understanding on the subject, I would endorse their preference for being closely associated as well as living in good environment helps in well being. A good building alone can not be good home rather individual investment in terms of affection care love mutual trust and freedom with having a sense for offering sacrifice is pre-requisite for making a house a good home.

When any house is purchased it has to be owned by individuals. In our society to save from different type of taxes, houses are purchased giving the ownership to a women member. Foresight fathers who are aware of women being less secured particularly in olden days buy house while giving ownership to daughters.

The underlying purpose is they can be well respected among in laws for bringing house in dowry and in case of divorce or become widow they can at least have a shelter to live in. Whereas the Gents of the family were financially supported to acquire higher education, they are expected to build houses for their own family while living in their parent s house.

According to Islamic Ideology, it is not the responsibility of a woman to earn. She is dependent to her mahram, e.g. father, brother before marriage and on husband SOLELY after marriage. It is for the same reason she is religiously entitled to earn half of the share on family inheritance because whatsoever woman earns she is entitled to use her income as she wishes so.

Since according to Islamic Ideology Muslim Man can have four wives at a time, it is very unlikely that in Islamic society any woman stays unmarried no matter whether she is a widow or divorced.

However for a very few who by their own decision do not want to go in a relationship becomes the responsibility of state to provide bread and butter along with the shelter if they do not have brother or father to provide them home and bread and butter.

In other words, a woman never has a house of her own but equally true is no house becomes home without a woman and a real woman builds home.

Our misery is, we are confused between social customs and religion. Being an Eastern Origin Man Our husbands and brothers expect that they should be provided with every domestic things done for them, mainly because they are brought up while implanting in their brains that A real man does not do any domestic job, e.g. does not work at home. Keeping in view the olden days this seems to be possible but these days where woman has to support the family in most of the cases, or she has her own career to pursue this approach, in fact, turns out of an important point for conflict, as most of the gents cannot ignore any shortcomings they receive while being served at home by their family member ladies. Interestingly when most of the gents get job abroad or go for funded studies, the first thing they plan to get married without realizing the fact that while staying abroad, since most of these marriages are those arranged by elders, most of the couples are in fact strangers started living together without knowing much about each other in a different country while having culture shock as well as stress for studies and later on for settling in career. Hence large numbers of such marriages either end up in silent compromise or into divorce.

The property purchased in the West is mostly on loan/mortgaged equally owned by Husband and Wife whereas in case of divorce wife has to give up her share of property if she asks for it while she had already enjoyed her share as dowry from her parents, independently for her to survive at her own seems to be very hard so most of the Women opt for silent compromise till they empower them through their children when they grow up, to take control of domestic and family dynamics. Best Slaves are worst Master

Islam has allowed a share of wife in Husband s property that is far less than half, as UNLIKE it is in practice in the West, greater share is for his Children, Parents, and Siblings. The underlying reason is, in Islamic Culture as I mentioned it earlier as well a Widow or Divorce gets married soon after losing a spouse and hence becomes financially dependent on her latest Husband otherwise on brother or son. However, Husband does not have any share in Wife s heritance that she owns from her Parents nor does in her income.

Any society likes ours where social dynamics operate on greed, whereas money controls relation and relationships seldom serve social justice. We can not expect girls getting married as well as well accepted among in laws without have dowry similarly in old age it appears very common these days that woman, or man through his woman after having control on family finances gave up taking justified care of Parents and other elderly people in family while not giving other family member s their due share as well. Usually, families in our Society are closely knitted so such matters remain unrevealed e.g. birds of same feather flock together through money and power they run the show while bringing miseries in others life having different stance supporting social justice.

Genuine man believes in his own capabilities for earning for his family whereas greed bred men in our society look for wife belonging to better financial status and academic standing, as soon as parents become old or anyone of them dies they put efforts to drive the family on the conclusion to sell the property to distribute among inheritors. The outcome in most of the incidences is bride s well-placed family usually end up losing their financial status whereas groom s family become financially more settled. In fewer cases, it happens vice verse as well if the family members of the bride are greedy manipulative mean and well connected at the same time.

In our Eastern Society Tussle on Control on Wealth Resources start right from the birth and continues even after the death.

Better off usually are those who preach and teach their younger one’s self-dependency and self-reliance with imparting Extremely High-quality Education with High Moral Values by practice, rest all seldom escape the traps set by their others, following the footsteps of Greed Trend Setters.

Since these days, the whole Globe is at the reach of a click, Greed has no Boundaries, youth to serve their temptation out of greed that in most of the cases they acquired from elders are being brought up into Law Breakers, if not Criminals, abroad they take loan to fulfill their ambition for having High Standard Living or whatsoever and often pay back for being saved from bank default by selling other s  shared properties back at country of origin turning jhuggi into flats, flats into houses, houses into mansions, so on but seldom happy homes emerge out to flourish.

The way back to pavilion is always very difficult but it is accomplishing if home no matter a jhuggi having loved one along with others are waiting warmheartedly to welcome.


The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Lahore Times.

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